In five months I will be back in England! I have already reached the stage of 'can I just go already? With the weather, work, lack of actual jobs, parents, and everything else I would really like to get started on the rest of my life.
This weekend has been mostly exhausting. Friday the fam was around for Easter dinner. Four children hunting Easter eggs and a house full of adults. Was nice to see everyone, though and eat too much food! Yesterday Spring finally arrived in the form of sun and warm temperatures. I spent the day dying eggs with hundreds of children at the museum. Stupidly I went for a walk when I got home and then proceeded to actually fall asleep before dinner. I haven't been that tired in a very long time. Still lingering today, so good thing all I had to manage was a big brunch that someone else made and a movie. Water for Elephants, in case anyone is interested.
I've promised myself that next month I will get back into research again. I haven't done much for the last two months and I already have a meeting planned the end of September with my supervisor. Five months until this really starts! I'm really going to do this. I want to be well prepared for that meeting, however, because after I start out on the right foot, it will only go downhill from there. Better than the other way, probably.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Admittance
So, I have something to admit. Not many people know about it thus far, because it's taken me a bit come to terms with in my head. My own acceptance.
I didn't get full funding for the PhD. Now, that is not to say that partial funding won't come through yet, but any chance of a fully funded degree is out the window. I have a few options left for first year, but I will have to reapply to everything for second and third year. Which is a pain. I haven't told many people, because it brings up all sorts of questions.
The important thing is, is that I am STILL GOING TO ENGLAND. I have planned and calculated and concluded that it *is* possible, even without funding, to do this and not land myself in so much debt that I will still be paying it off when I retire (meaning I won't ever get to retire).
Also, my supervisor is Ross Parry. I can't *not* do this degree. And I certainly can't bugger it up!
In other news, in the next few months I will become published in an ACTUAL JOURNAL. The academic kind that they print and put in libraries!
I didn't get full funding for the PhD. Now, that is not to say that partial funding won't come through yet, but any chance of a fully funded degree is out the window. I have a few options left for first year, but I will have to reapply to everything for second and third year. Which is a pain. I haven't told many people, because it brings up all sorts of questions.
The important thing is, is that I am STILL GOING TO ENGLAND. I have planned and calculated and concluded that it *is* possible, even without funding, to do this and not land myself in so much debt that I will still be paying it off when I retire (meaning I won't ever get to retire).
Also, my supervisor is Ross Parry. I can't *not* do this degree. And I certainly can't bugger it up!
In other news, in the next few months I will become published in an ACTUAL JOURNAL. The academic kind that they print and put in libraries!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Half of Something
Tuesday morning I woke up to find a long looked for, but still unexpected email in my inbox.
Leicester has, beyond all belief and rationality, accepted my PhD proposal for October this year. I expected to hear from them weeks ago, and when I didn't, I suppose I'd given up in my head. So the email came as a surprise, on many levels. But a happy one.
My first thought was along the lines of 'OMG!'. The second, more extended thought was, 'but what about funding?' My third thought was 'I AM GOING BACK TO ENGLAND.' After that, there wasn't much coherency and a lot of laughter for the next few hours. Of course, day one of Cloud 9 was followed by day two of reality and planning, but since that is what I am best at, I feel it's working well. Planning is something I can focus on; something concrete and doable. And it means I worry less about the what-ifs.
[The largest of which is, of course, whether my funding comes through and how I will possibly do this without it.] But I find I am focusing less on that and much more on the practical aspects of moving once more and research that I have now let lapse for two months. The second of these is the most important. I've six months to worry about moving, and last time I did it all in two.
Everyone is very excited, especially my aunt (of all people). My parents are about as excited as last time, because after nearly two years they were nearly convinced they had me in Canada for the rest of eternity. What a silly notion.
Since it is almost the end of February, I feel like I can declare this month a big win on more than the PhD level. It means this year has started so much better than any in recent memory and I can only hope that means that I'm due for it to continue. Optimism coming along just fine...
Leicester has, beyond all belief and rationality, accepted my PhD proposal for October this year. I expected to hear from them weeks ago, and when I didn't, I suppose I'd given up in my head. So the email came as a surprise, on many levels. But a happy one.
My first thought was along the lines of 'OMG!'. The second, more extended thought was, 'but what about funding?' My third thought was 'I AM GOING BACK TO ENGLAND.' After that, there wasn't much coherency and a lot of laughter for the next few hours. Of course, day one of Cloud 9 was followed by day two of reality and planning, but since that is what I am best at, I feel it's working well. Planning is something I can focus on; something concrete and doable. And it means I worry less about the what-ifs.
[The largest of which is, of course, whether my funding comes through and how I will possibly do this without it.] But I find I am focusing less on that and much more on the practical aspects of moving once more and research that I have now let lapse for two months. The second of these is the most important. I've six months to worry about moving, and last time I did it all in two.
Everyone is very excited, especially my aunt (of all people). My parents are about as excited as last time, because after nearly two years they were nearly convinced they had me in Canada for the rest of eternity. What a silly notion.
Since it is almost the end of February, I feel like I can declare this month a big win on more than the PhD level. It means this year has started so much better than any in recent memory and I can only hope that means that I'm due for it to continue. Optimism coming along just fine...
Friday, January 14, 2011
Beginnings of the Year
Not too many years ago, 2011 sounded like a date far into the future. The next decade began last year, in 2010 technically, but 2011 seems to take it that one step further. We can't pretend it's still hovering around the 2000s; we're firmly on the way to the 2050s now and that's just terrifying.
I suppose I had some small hope that, but 2011, I would be in a much different place than I was in 2001. That seemed to be a defining year for most of the world and for myself as well. I had hoped that in 10 years things around the world and closer to home would change, but they have not. The world is much the same, though perhaps a little worse off lately, and my life is not so different. The intervening years have certainly been full of different adventures and such, but at this particular moment in January 2011, my life is not so different than January 2001 (except there is less homework to be done).
This should, it can be said, be incentive enough for me to get on with my life and I am trying. I've widdened my job search to include anything that might earn me enough money so that I can move out on my own. I've been more open to relationships and the idea of maybe finding someone to settle down with before I'm 30. [A concept that seemed like a fantastic idea at age 21, but has mostly gone by the wayside since.] I am investigating other career options, at least in the short term. I am still hopeful about a potential PhD and have not given up that route, at least yet. I am pursuing travelling options for the year, if not for my actual birthday. Hopefully by September I will have travelled Somewhere I Have Never Been Before. I am trying to keep in touch with more friends, something that has also fallen by the wayside since I moved to England. I am also trying to keep busy and be more optimistic. I'm not certain how the last of these is going, especially after an exhausting day at work, but since I have only myself as company there is no one to complain that I am breaking a resolution already. I am determined that by January 2012 I will have figured my life out.
That, in itself, is the largest resolution of all and also the hardest to keep.
I suppose I had some small hope that, but 2011, I would be in a much different place than I was in 2001. That seemed to be a defining year for most of the world and for myself as well. I had hoped that in 10 years things around the world and closer to home would change, but they have not. The world is much the same, though perhaps a little worse off lately, and my life is not so different. The intervening years have certainly been full of different adventures and such, but at this particular moment in January 2011, my life is not so different than January 2001 (except there is less homework to be done).
This should, it can be said, be incentive enough for me to get on with my life and I am trying. I've widdened my job search to include anything that might earn me enough money so that I can move out on my own. I've been more open to relationships and the idea of maybe finding someone to settle down with before I'm 30. [A concept that seemed like a fantastic idea at age 21, but has mostly gone by the wayside since.] I am investigating other career options, at least in the short term. I am still hopeful about a potential PhD and have not given up that route, at least yet. I am pursuing travelling options for the year, if not for my actual birthday. Hopefully by September I will have travelled Somewhere I Have Never Been Before. I am trying to keep in touch with more friends, something that has also fallen by the wayside since I moved to England. I am also trying to keep busy and be more optimistic. I'm not certain how the last of these is going, especially after an exhausting day at work, but since I have only myself as company there is no one to complain that I am breaking a resolution already. I am determined that by January 2012 I will have figured my life out.
That, in itself, is the largest resolution of all and also the hardest to keep.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
TGID
Thank God It's December.
And so begins what has, as long as NaNo has existed, the so-called 'editing month'. Where in you spend the better part of 30 days wondering what the hell it is you wrote and how it could be so very bad. And you try to make it better.
In all honesty, this year is actually much less stressful than last year. Last year I wrote 53,000 words in 20 days and still had another 15,000 to write in December to actually finish the story. This year, I finished on 51,000 words in 30 days and not a word more am I going to write! I was more proud of the fact that I'd budgeting the right number of words, in the right sections, in the correct number of chapters than I was at hitting the 50k mark. I will celebrate by getting a free printed copy of my book.
Which means, editing. One day I will come across the paperback in a dusty corner of my bookshelf that had been covered with shinny new books by actually authors, and I will open the cover and start to read. And if I find one stupid spelling mistake, I'll probably throw the whole thing out in annoyance. Which means, editing month. I also have two other people's stories to read as well and it's already December 5th! It will be Christmas before I know it!
There is the small matter of that painting sitting downstairs collecting dust on an empty canvas. A fact that annoys me every time I go downstairs to wrap a present. It is both condeming and inspiring. And must be done by the 25th!
And so begins what has, as long as NaNo has existed, the so-called 'editing month'. Where in you spend the better part of 30 days wondering what the hell it is you wrote and how it could be so very bad. And you try to make it better.
In all honesty, this year is actually much less stressful than last year. Last year I wrote 53,000 words in 20 days and still had another 15,000 to write in December to actually finish the story. This year, I finished on 51,000 words in 30 days and not a word more am I going to write! I was more proud of the fact that I'd budgeting the right number of words, in the right sections, in the correct number of chapters than I was at hitting the 50k mark. I will celebrate by getting a free printed copy of my book.
Which means, editing. One day I will come across the paperback in a dusty corner of my bookshelf that had been covered with shinny new books by actually authors, and I will open the cover and start to read. And if I find one stupid spelling mistake, I'll probably throw the whole thing out in annoyance. Which means, editing month. I also have two other people's stories to read as well and it's already December 5th! It will be Christmas before I know it!
There is the small matter of that painting sitting downstairs collecting dust on an empty canvas. A fact that annoys me every time I go downstairs to wrap a present. It is both condeming and inspiring. And must be done by the 25th!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Out of My Hands
Oh, the nightmares that are funding applications. Having to do two of them at once for very different things is not a good idea either!
The PhD funding application is in, however. There are two others, but thankfully their deadlines are not until 2011 and that just sounds so far away. I have calculated my odds of getting it as 50/50. This is really a glass is half full/empty sort of situation and I have never been great with those. I usually fall to the later side of things.
After more than a year and a half of researching for this thing, though, I will be something akin to heartbroken beyond repair if I can't secure at least some funding. I am willing to put myself in dept to do this PhD, but there is a limit to how much dept I can reasonably carry, knowing how much money I will not be making ever after I graduate. I need some help and now I really really really want that help!
I hope this doesn't turn out like St. Andrews did.
The PhD funding application is in, however. There are two others, but thankfully their deadlines are not until 2011 and that just sounds so far away. I have calculated my odds of getting it as 50/50. This is really a glass is half full/empty sort of situation and I have never been great with those. I usually fall to the later side of things.
After more than a year and a half of researching for this thing, though, I will be something akin to heartbroken beyond repair if I can't secure at least some funding. I am willing to put myself in dept to do this PhD, but there is a limit to how much dept I can reasonably carry, knowing how much money I will not be making ever after I graduate. I need some help and now I really really really want that help!
I hope this doesn't turn out like St. Andrews did.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
One Third of the Way
Or What I'm Supposed to Be At.
In reality, I'm nearly 5000 words behind right now. Of course, I had two days without a computer AT ALL and therefore lost 4000 words right there. Yesterday was also much more exhausting than expected and I lost another 1000. Of course, this time last year I was into day 2 of 8 without a computer. In theory, I'm ahead. And I managed it before, I will do so again. Today's project is to catch up to where I should be (which is 33.33% done).
The novel started the way I expected, but then dropped in the interest department for a few thousand words. To restart the thing I invented a hunting trip that I hope will be important later (much later). This annoys me, as last year I had nothing planned out and yet each invention made sense. This one was just to glorify the word count. I'll need to make the trip integral to the end of the story (or probably the middle) to justify it and that screws with my plan a bit.
On the positive aspect, my characters are more or less listening to me. As a whim I invented a character without meaning to, and though only important to the first third of the story, I sort of love him to pieces. He emulates my favourite characters from a lot of books and is so blantantly important it's almost ridiculous.
The naming thing is getting easier. At least where people names are concerned. I still have this problem with place names always sounding like I stole them from another book. Last year was easier because all of the names were English and all of the places actually existed. But Nano is supposed to be a challenge, right?
Wake me when it's December.
In reality, I'm nearly 5000 words behind right now. Of course, I had two days without a computer AT ALL and therefore lost 4000 words right there. Yesterday was also much more exhausting than expected and I lost another 1000. Of course, this time last year I was into day 2 of 8 without a computer. In theory, I'm ahead. And I managed it before, I will do so again. Today's project is to catch up to where I should be (which is 33.33% done).
The novel started the way I expected, but then dropped in the interest department for a few thousand words. To restart the thing I invented a hunting trip that I hope will be important later (much later). This annoys me, as last year I had nothing planned out and yet each invention made sense. This one was just to glorify the word count. I'll need to make the trip integral to the end of the story (or probably the middle) to justify it and that screws with my plan a bit.
On the positive aspect, my characters are more or less listening to me. As a whim I invented a character without meaning to, and though only important to the first third of the story, I sort of love him to pieces. He emulates my favourite characters from a lot of books and is so blantantly important it's almost ridiculous.
The naming thing is getting easier. At least where people names are concerned. I still have this problem with place names always sounding like I stole them from another book. Last year was easier because all of the names were English and all of the places actually existed. But Nano is supposed to be a challenge, right?
Wake me when it's December.
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