We Come to it at Last

Yes, I quoted Gandalf. These things are necessary.

This will be my last post from Denmark. I have one week left here before I fly back to London.

It's been a ride, that's for sure. A string of personal issues and problems back in Canada have gone side by side with a really enjoyable time at a new university, with new people, inspiration for my thesis, and exploring a great country. So it's been a roller coaster and no mistake! But that's a bit like life in general, it's just all been condensed into a few short months!

I am looking forward to getting back now. I've reached that tipping point. I miss my giant bed and I definitely miss not having to climb up three flights of stairs with groceries. I also desperately miss the gym across the road and can't wait to get back to exercising. I have to run 5 miles in July, so the training starts next week. And really, I miss the department and all my fellow PhDs (and adopted PhDs). I'll spend the first week just catching up with people! It's the only thing I've really missed the longest, has been having friends around to have coffee with, but I've managed well enough on my own. I'm sort of conditioned to that.

My word count for my thesis is 35,000. I have another 7,000 of that planned out, but the missing 35,000 is what is worrying me. It's three chapters and at this point in time I have no idea what's going to go into them! I have a month now to figure it out (which isn't as long as it sounds). Hence, we come to it at last. This will definitely be the battle part of this thesis writing. I have May through July to draft it, so I am hoping to have a workable and very detailed plan by the beginning of May. The plan is always the hardest part, after that, the writing gets a bit easier. I am looking forward to speaking with Ross again and hoping he's as inspirational as he always has been!

On the other hand of writing (you knew there was going to be another hand), I have two novel ideas outlined, and one of them is at nearly 7000 words already (barely one chapter, in fact). I'm pretty pleased with it as a publishable idea (somewhere in the distant future *cough*nextyear*cough*). I will have to get the short guide book out first, because that's the time sensitive one, but that's Christmas' project. This one can be January or February's project, as knowing me I will probably have it written and edited by then. Because what better to do when you should be writing a PhD then to draft a post-apocalypse romance? Draft a YA mystery instead, I suppose. [Don't ask.]

I'm keeping busy, at least! And feeling generally pretty good about that half of my life. The other half will sort itself out in time.

Unfortunate Accomplishments

So, the Olympics happened. Looking back, I should be rather proud of what I accomplished between July 27th and August 12th. I mean really.

Except what I accomplished was 26k of a fic I hate, for a fandom I am ashamed to admit exists much less that I write for it, and will forever pretend I never wrote. It may also, single-handedly, be the worst fic I've ever written. It's so awful I can't even reread it and have had to find a beta to do it for me. I also know it will be my last chapter fic for a while, if not forever. I have not only no interest in writing another, I have no ideas. And right now, that's a blessing.

In other news, I am currently sitting in a hotel room in Denver, a city I have not been to for 30 years. I don't remember it ;) It makes for a nice five-day weekend away, except that Denver is 10 hours away from London, so it makes for a lovely five-day-twenty-hour-flight weekend away. I do it out of love for family and my cousin's kind words and his new wife's thanks makes it worth the trip. The weekend has been a perfect organisational masterpiece that looked effortless. I know, literally, that it was not effortless and that there's been more than one near-disaster, but as far as it seems, no one outside the family is aware of that. Thankfully. My family is no fun unless there's drama and politics. We'd be bored otherwise. It was picture perfect from start to finish. I can't wait to see the photographs.

Tomorrow I'm off to Boulder and out somewhere east of Denver to find an airfield. Should be an interesting day. Can add Colorado as another State I've driven in. Considerably less terrifying than California, from the looks of things. Though apparently every single member of my family has gotten lost in Denver sometime in the last four days, except for me. I just memorise maps. It's a useful skill to have. I also have a pretty good sense of direction, which helps too.

Two more days and then a mini-break in London on the way home.

Remember, Remember

This will be a short post. In case you were wondering.

November 5th has to be one of my favourite dates. Obviously, it has rather a lot of significance for England, especially where fireworks are concerned. I have been listening to them for nearly two weeks, what with the Diwali celebrations. They never really stopped, but last night they were definitely louder. Tonight I have my headphones blaring in order to drown them out. I don't much go in for fireworks, but there is a certain historical symmetry there, if you consider it. Though Guy Fawkes hardly used Roman candles to try to blow up Parliament.

Mostly, I love this date because it's my Aunt's birthday. Therefore, it has always been impossible to forget. And tomorrow is my mother's and then the next day is my father's. And the next day after that is one of my other aunt's. November is just one of those months in my family!

Moving onwards; in short. This week has been something of an accomplishment, since I only began this degree a month ago and I have already delivered into my supervisor's hands a 5000 word paper which received some very nice comments. I feel I am officially a student again, which would be worth much celebrating, except I don't really have the time. Seeing as I'm a student again. It's a funny old circle. Now my walls are decorated with Gantt charts, monthly planners, training plans and my bookshelf is full of books (as it should be).

I am absolutely loving this.

Back to School, Take Two

It's passed the middle of August, at which time I am used to undergoing an emotional turmoil wherein I can't decide whether going back to school is a yay or a nay.

This year I don't have this conflicting emotion, because I'm not going back. I noticed it less last year (my first September where I was not in school), because the Returned to Canada rollercoaster kept me busy enough. So, this year feels a bit strange. Mostly, I feel like I'm floundering in the big ocean of Real Life, barely hanging on to the life preserver that is a part time job, and still trying to find the nearest bit of land that may be proper work. So far, nothing has appeared in sight in the last 11 months. I'm not hopeful.

I could, of course, have returned to school next month. I could have found something to do another degree in or a diploma. But when it comes right down to it, what's the point? I'd just be unemployed in another field and I'd be less interested in pursuing it till it kills me. All of which politely suggests to my brain that I'd better do something about this in the next 12 months, because going through this again isn't exactly agreeable.

I am, of course, currently taking another project management course; a subject of which I have about as much interest as, say, the biology of amphibians. But it means that, two days a week, I have something to focus on beyond going stir crazy. It is also temporary, and will be over long before NaNo rears it's head again. A fact for which I am grateful. I am hoping that November will at least be a distraction from everything else, and perhaps the achievement of writing 50,000 words again will at least carry me over into Christmas. Provided I finish this novel this year, rather than dragging it into February of another year. As my non-recent updates might suggest, the novel idea is going about as well as the job hunt.

I think it's partly that I'm a bit bored again. I get this way after a few months of doing the same thing. I bore easily, I know. I am still happier than I was after three months of retail, don't get me wrong! And much happier than I'd be if I was, say, unemployed. There still feels as if I am in a holding pattern waiting for my life to begin. At 27 I'm starting to wonder... I've met 21 year olds who have it more together.

It's been a bit of a comfort to be around the family this summer. So far, I am the only university student among the grandchildren that didn't change their major after First Year. I stuck with it, for 6 years. Nor did I give up on my original dream when I started university. I feel that I can count that as an accomplishment, since this is the family that is Awesome At Everything and Never Fails at Anything. I like to think they can take pride in the fact that at least I haven't given up. It make take years, but I'm not walking away from this, at least permanently. In the interim, probably yes, because one has to make a living somehow and job applications do not constitute paying rent.

[Not that I do. Though I'd like to.]

Right now, though, the contemplation of a PhD is more a stop gap. Please don't get me wrong, I want a PhD. I just imagined it would be something for another time in my life (hopefully another decade older). Now it seems as if it's becoming my only option because it is my only option. I don't know how feeling forced is going to help matters. And the positive of being the first grandchild (maybe the only one) to have Dr. in front of my name is probably not enough to carry me through even Year One. But it's enough to make me try. I am banking on the fact that I don't quit on things to carry me through.

We'll see. Step One: Stop faffing about and email Leicester.