Happy Christmas

Hello All (-three of you)!

It's been a long month, let me tell you. December, when you are not a regular attending classes student always feels long. It used to feel interminable when I worked in retail, because December was, you guessed it, 30 days long and I usually worked every single one of those. If they could have figured out how to legally keep the store open for Christmas Day, they would have.

But as a PhD student, I've discovered, December feels even longer. Because instead of knowing that when January comes you will have virtually no hours to work, you realise that come January you will be just as busy as you are now. And you will probably have a deadline (as I do). Holidays and Christmas are slightly ruined when you are facing stress and looming word counts.

Which is why I am already excited about next year. I wrote 'hand in thesis' on my calendar for December 12th and I aim to stick to that. Which means that, leaving a day to pack, I can be on a plane for December 14th. Which is when my holidays will start. And they will go until January 14th, because after all of this I deserve a month off. I will not be working. I will not be online. I will not be job searching. I will be…I have no idea what I'll be doing but it won't involve writing or reading. It will probably involve a hell of a lot of television and maybe that computer game I've been saving.

But that is not this Christmas. That is 12 months away (11 months, 20 days) and this Christmas I have 8000 (7200) words to write before January 4th. And they aren't easy words. This is not the easy chapter I'm writing. This is not the 'this author said this and this author said that and this contributes this to the field'. No, no, this is the hard chapter. It's probably the hardest chapter of the thesis, in fact, or at least part of it is the hardest. And I have 11 days left to write it. I am taking tomorrow off by virtue of the fact that I am expected at a party for most of the day and then there is telly on. But come Boxing Day morning I have a word count to hit (today I am editing the 800 words I've written to make sure they make sense, otherwise there's no point in continuing along with it on the 26th).

Anyone tells you that doing a PhD is fun, ignore them. I can't take holidays anymore. I try to take a day off and I feel guilty and stressed for not doing work and then I do work anyways. I have to forcibly take myself away from the computer to stop. I am tired of looking at a computer screen. My wrists hurt from typing. My eyes hurt from looking. My back is killing me from sitting. And I have twelve more months of this.

Today I don't like being a PhD student, even if I still like my thesis.

Happy Christmas

It's been a while

My fault, really. November was a hell of a month and just finding time to breathe was often difficult, much less blog post! I felt no one wanted to hear my crazed whinging anyways, am I right?

But it's December now and although things haven't quieted down completely, they are getting there (or will in another week or so). At which time I can start writing my PhD and posting about that!

Right now I'm trying to get the last of my obligations done in the department before holidays. Attempting to collect the rest of the field data I need. And also rereading a lot of books on subjects I don't understand anymore now than I did 12 months ago (oops!) I'm also working at the same time, so things are a little busy. Just 9 more days to go until term ends!

I also need another 5000 words or so of creative fiction to hit my target this year, and I have a sinking feeling I'll be writing that on December 31st. Better last minute than late, but I was hoping to have it done already.

Somehow in the last two months I found time (ha!) to go to Paris for 4 days. Even that was a whirlwind tour and I barely fit everything into the daylight hours available! I was out shortly after sunrise each morning and back after sunset each night in the freezing cold. But I managed a lot, which I always can when facing tight deadlines. :)

Welcomings

Term has started. Two weeks ago nearly, but I spent the first week of it in bed with one of the worst colds I've ever had. Lovely beginning. However, I managed to drug myself enough to be seen in public by last Wednesday to attend the PhD induction.

We have a great collection of new PhDs starting this year and they are all really eager to be involved, even our DLs! That's so nice as we have plenty for them to do!

I always feel a bit strange at the start of term these days. Because it's not the start of term for me. Term doesn't really exist as a concept. As a PhD we go to school 12 months of the year and we don't get 'holidays' at set times (except Christmas and Easter days as those are legal holidays) but whenever we want to take them. The start of autumn term used to mean something to me, but it really doesn't anymore. It's strange with new students starting when I feel like 'last year' hasn't ended! Also, we have PhDs that start in January and April, so the whole thing becomes somewhat muddled.

But enough about the optimistic side of this post. This is about writing, yes? And writing I should be! Having managed to put aside the 'book' for the moment (hopefully until Christmas) I should be concentrating on writing a thesis chapter...but I'm still reading! I can't seem to stop. I know there's nothing 'new' to read, but reading I am still doing. And the last two weeks of so many events and meetings has cut into reading time. Today I hoped to get a chapter outline done, but it's 11am and I have a meeting at 3pm and I still have to grocery shop so...not likely to happen today. And tomorrow is a workshop all day, so not likely then either. I guess that is Saturday's project but...Saturday is the 12th! The chapter is due the 29th! That's not much time to write 8000 words...but it's going to have to be. I am more than a little nervous. I've written for the PhD already, but with the knowledge that what I've written will be rewritten for the thesis. This will be a draft chapter and will only really be 'edited' next year. That's a lot of pressure. I understand how everyone else in the writing up area feels right now.

But needs must. I promised Ross (and I don't disappoint Ross, even if I don't get anything else done this month). I must get that transcription finished though, I really must. By Hallowe'en. At least.

So many things to do, so little time. I've not been this busy in a while!

Muses

Writers often talk about their 'muses'. Their inspirations. Or, quite often, their motivation.

There may be 9 muses but all of them have been unkind to me at one time or another. And all of them have been helpful too, at one time or another.

Occasionally, however, my muses (one or more) get a little over eager. They always do this when I can least afford to devote time to writing.

Like right now. Right now I have at least one muse whispering in my ear and so far she's written 4500 words of a book I promised myself I was not going to write this year until Christmas. Part of me is ecstatic, because it's a bloody good idea for a book, and part of me is horrified because I really don't have the time to spend on this.

Life at a Walking Pace; journal, history and guidebook to the Camino de Santiago.

I may actually try to publish this one.

[Maybe.]

[Next year.]

[...2016.]

Tempus Fugit

Yes, I've been waiting to use that one for a while now. The problem is, it works for *every single post*.

It's been more than a month since I last updated this blog. This is owing to a  lot of things, namely being forgetful. Also namely having a PhD crisis, as one does in one's second year. It's like the mid-life crisis for PhD students. It sucks, incidentally, but we all have one and you get over it, or you quit your PhD. I got over it.

In other news, I haven't written anything in ages, for anything, and it's probably one of the main reasons I feel so on edge lately. 3000 words for an annual review (twice) don't count. I would almost like to be writing a paper right now, because at least it would give me a focus, but I've no time for it. I have no time for fic either, and no ideas for it (though I must come up with 9000 words before the end of the year, because my OCD says so). So regarding a blog about writing, I've not done much writing to blog about. And it's not like any of you want to know about the rest of my life right? ;)

It feels like Spain was forever ago. And each week that passes and I get more anxious to be back there. I hope that reaches a plateau (or peak) soon or it's going to become unbearable. I think the problem with once in a lifetime trips is that as soon as they are over you don't want them to be 'once' in a lifetime trips. Clearly this will not be, even if I do a different camino next time. Or the c2c, which one of my camino pals just finished (across northern England, sea to sea) for 300km. I wish I had the time this year to go, but I'll be lucky to get a few days in Paris this Autumn now. And next year, I have no idea when I'll find the time to take any holidays! Though I want to find a week to go to Europe, somewhere. I would love to take the train from Bern to Vianna (or vis versa). And there is Ascot, which I will get to next year, because it may be my last chance! And 3 months in Denmark...but that's not a holiday.

In other words, a lot of my life is rather up in the air right now (in so very many ways) and I am both looking forward to and fearing the day it all comes crashing back down to earth. Because there's no knowing where the pieces will land. On the upshot, at least I will know where things stand again.

Limbo, I think that's what this is.

Lost Writings

It all begins with a movie. Or perhaps with the pilgrims. It matters little either way. What I do know is that, in the winter of 2012, basking in the bitter sunny cold that had descended over England, I rented a recently released movie, by Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez, called The Way. I did not rent it for the plot line, but rather for the actors. But I fell in love with it for the plot.

 

If you have not yet seen the film, I humbly suggest it. It is a well written, well acted, and well shot story of a father and son who never saw eye-to-eye and of one man’s journey to complete his tragically deceased son’s walk along the Camino Frances to Santiago de Compostela. Along the way he meets an interesting cast of characters, discovers a great deal about himself and his life, and a great deal more about his departed son. It is a beautifully moving story that would strike at the heart of anyone who sees it. For me, it appealed on an even greater level.

I went to bed that night with a thought it my head and woke in the morning to one of the clearest moments of understanding I have ever had. I would walk the Camino Frances, the 800km route from St Jean Pied Port in southern France to Santiago de Compostela in western Spain and I would do it in honour of my thirtieth birthday, more than a year away. I felt this gave me time to prepare physically, but mentally as well, but that morning I was completely ready to start walking.

30 Days. The month of May, 2013. For my 30^th birthday. It made more sense to me in that moment that anything had for years. A dream that I could actually fulfil. I knew it was slightly mad and entirely amazing (as were the reactions of most people I soon told), but I could not, for the life of me, think of any better way to start a new decade of my life. What I hoped would be the best decade yet.

The story of the Camino has many paths. There are many routes (the Frances is only one, though the most popular) and many crossroads. There are many reasons to walk it, and not all of them are religious. Whatever reasons you have are your own. Whatever you learn along the way is for you to know and understand. But there is one guarantee to all who walk the Camino: you will learn something about yourself, about others and about the world that you never knew before. And you will be a better person for it.

I walk for myself. I walk for the family who gave me a beautiful life. For the parents that have supported all my crazy dreams. To see a country I have never seen. To meet people from around the world. To share an experience. To prove that I can do it. To meet a challenge. To overcome a struggle.

But, mostly, I walk for myself. My way. My Camino.

[This was written 12 months ago to the day. It is still, every word, valid.]

¡Adios! ¡Hasta Luego!

Well, T-43 hours and counting, which is starting to look like a pretty serious number. Of course, I won't be around to post until probably mid-June. However, if you care to follow a blog that might get updated more often than this one, try: https://micamino2013.wordpress.com/.

See you on the flip side!

Transcription

Transcription has to be the most horrific form of writing ever invented. Honestly, I hate it. I'd rather write an essay. I'd rather write a thesis. So I'm trying to do as little of it as possible, which means only transcribing the sections of interview that seem most relevant to the thesis. Of course, I still have to listen to the entire interview, which takes an hour just without even recording anything from it. I'm trying to get some of it done before I leave, however, so I don't have to do it all in June when I get back. More and more I think I'd like to conduct my follow-up interviews over email.

I seem to have sprained my ankle. You know, people everywhere keep commenting about the Richard III discovery and how it very nearly just didn't happen. Honestly, the probability integer that someone at the university worked out is less than 1%. And yet it happened. I've been viewing my trip to Spain in a similar way, because it seems everything just sort of fell into place exactly when it needed to. Then I injured my foot (re-occurant foot problems), but it healed. Now I've buggered my ankle slipping on a wet floor because my housemate can't clean up after themselves. Not the first time I've twisted the ankle, but certainly worse than I've done in a while. So I'm confined to bed for the next several days and have to see the doctor tomorrow. That's like my third medical appointment in 2 weeks. I'm becoming one of those people. Hopefully if I rest as much as possible, it'll be better by next week. A minor sprain should be okay a week later, I've found in the past. And I can walk on it, it just hurts, so it has to be a minor sprain.

Yesterday I had the best Chinese food I have ever had. We finally went to Peking, which is one of only two traditional Chinese restaurants in the city. It's where the Chinese go to eat. We were the only westerners there until the very end. But it was seriously amazing food and the staff were what you'd expect from a 5 star restaurant, expect for the price of 2 stars. I ate so much food, however, that I didn't sleep at all last night as I spent most of it feeling like my stomach was going to burst. I should know better by now. But I just hate to see food go to waste...

Adventure Awaits

18 days to go, which pretty much means I am through to the ‘can I just go already?’ stage of anxiety. The problem with being so organised is that I tend to me too organised and thus I am packed and planned and ready to go. Unfortunately, the plane doesn’t leave until the 30^th. Or so my ticket says.

The good news is that I am over the sheer moments of terror and onto the sheer moments of excitement (interspersed with the usual anxiety attacks). I have rather a lot to distract me for the next two weeks, which is a very good thing, I think. However, it also means I have rather a lot of work to do before I leave and I’m running out of time to do it! Whoever said the good things in life take forever to arrive got it wrong. I have no idea where the last three and a half months have gone, much less the last twelve since I started planning this crazy idea!

I’m still a bit worried (more than a bit) about my foot. The injury seems to be mostly healed, but I’m terrified of reinjuring it again in the first few days of really difficult climbing. I think if I can get through those I’ll be okay, but if I do myself in then that’s it. It’s taken weeks to be pain free this time, and I don’t have weeks to rest next time. Though I know, in my heart, I’ll push on even in pain as long as I can. I don’t want to leave Chantel on her own or miss out on the whole experience! I guess I face a potential summer on crutches, but there are worse things.

Tomorrow I am off to Cambridge to either A) visit IWM Duxford or B) visit the Fitzwilliam. Which one will depend on what the weather does, as there is a significant chance of rain. Why do I always visit Cambridge in the rain? On the upshot, it’s supposed to be mild and not windy, so so far I am enjoying this year’s version of ‘Spring’. It’s so much better than winter that I really don’t mind the rain at all. In Spain it’s 25* and sunny, which is very, very bad for hiking, so I will enjoy the rain and cooler temps for now before I face a daily battle against heat stroke. What fun that will be.

My field work is going along quite well and the worry that I wouldn’t get everything done for that before the end of the month is gone. All meetings have now been arranged and I should get them all finished next week. Just a few more emails to send about summer field research and I’m on track for June! If the other work was going as well I’d feel better, but one out of two isn’t bad, right? The marking nightmare is over, at least, and the money is very useful. Glad to not be dealing with the next round however, because as interesting as this assignment was, marking it was mentally exhausting. All good for the CV.

My big challenge before the end of this month is writing an abstract proposal for the PhD conference. I have no idea what to do for it, but I want the abstract to be good! I’ve got 17 days to figure something out. 250 words shouldn’t be that hard….but it is.

Lastly, the exciting news of the week is that I’m moving Denmark for a term next year. I’m more than thrilled to have this finalised, as it’s an excellent opportunity to study with the leader in my field of research and to interact with PhD students in another country. Very much looking forward to this and already I can’t wait until January!

Where is Spring?

Indeed, I have not had time to write a review for the Richard III Exhibition. I've not had a chance to revisit it either. Mostly this is due to having injured my foot and being restricted to the environs of campus and not the rest of the city as a whole. The foot is getting better (thankfully!) and as soon as the weather follows I might venture down to the centre and have another look (and then write the review). Perhaps Easter will be good for that.

Spring has disappeared. I shouldn't be surprised, considering what winter has been like (and Autumn, Summer and Spring 2012). Still, as it is now going on nearly 12 months since the rain started (and hasn't stopped) the only thing I can say about this month is that it hasn't rained much. Snow, on the other hand...

One would think I lived in the arctic wastes of northern Scotland or something, rather than southern England. But the cloud, wind and cold is getting to all of us. My mantra has become 'Spain Spain Spain'. I just hope it's lovely and warm and sunny! Although I've no doubt I'll get bored of that right quick what with having to walk in it. The weather right now is more conducive to that sort of thing. Still, I would like to walk out my door and not wish I'd brought a hat/scarf/gloves. I would like to wear a skirt. I would like to do all the things you are supposed to be able to do when Spring comes. Instead, I plan to spend the weekend huddled inside in the cold house with the heater on and tea in hand and not open my curtains, because why? I am seriously contemplating finding a job in California after I graduate in 2 years.

Spain Spain Spain

Right now, because my foot still hurts a bit and I'm trying not to make it worse, I am off to the pool. I was very good about going the week before last, and then last week I was away for 3 days and when I came back I was just too tired to want to work out. Of course that excuse didn't last past the weekend, but here it's Thursday and I still haven't gone. So I am going today. The pool is warm and the spa is even warmer. Both good. Tea only does so much good when I have to look out a window.

Next time I will have a review of RIII and probably of WB's Harry Potter Studio Tour as well.

Tempus Fugit

Apparently, I wrote again. 11,000 words. Of a three-part story. That won't be completed until August 2014 at the soonest. Oops?

I have no idea how it is already the end of February, though I am very glad of it. At least March may mean weather that is not arctic-like. Though it may not, as well. Still, I live in hope of one day not spending my waking hours shivering. If I didn't have to get out of bed, I never would. I am quite serious.

March will go by right quickly too, as I have field work in three different cities and various other trips to other cities, some of which almost happen on the same day (don't ask). I start with Coventry on March 1st, which is at least close (and free transport). I also get to see the Warner Bros. HP studio next month! I will end up buying lots of things from the giftshop that I can't afford, you wait and see. I'll have a review of that afterwards (the tour, not the giftshop).

Also, when I have a moment (not this week it seems) I'll write up a review for the Richard III exhibition that's on at Guildhall, because I bet there aren't many of those on the 'net, are there? No, didn't think so. [They'll be a review of the RIII museum, this time next year too.]

Lastly, I have a very ambitious new neighbour. Despite the fact it is 4*C outside and raining he is out trying to turn over and dig up all the stones in his garden. And powerwash everything in his back garden, it seems. Not sure they'll be much soil left at the rate he's going. Still, I admire the effort, as the end to winter is no time soon.

Enough Books to Make an Xmas Tree

That may mean something to a few of you, if you saw the picture going around last month about the xmas tree made from books and hung with lights. I seem to be collecting again. I mean, really, I bought another copy of The Hobbit, because I left my other two in Canada and it'll take the next 12 months to get a copy from the public library. Of course, I refuse to read it for the next 18 months, so I still have very little idea why I bought it. Except that it's the movie copy, so...excuses? I also purchased Anna Karenina in the theory that, if I own it, I will be more likely to read it.

[Once I finish the never-ending books that are Cloud Atlas and Battle Royale, that is.]

Nearly 2000 pages of words to read. However, the xmas tree would be made of only research-related books, which should freighten anyone who has been a student. The MAs keep recalling them to the library, which is annoying me, since it means I have to get what I need from them before they disappear again. Interestingly enough, most of the books in my current posession in Leicester seem to be history related or technology related and not museum related. Hum.

You remember how, in August, I said I was giving up writing? Well, Things Happened and that is no longer the case. I am currently allowing it because [I have no choice] it's a pleasant distraction from my field work and I have the time. Ish. And I'm not exactly ashamed of these fandoms right now (though possibly the fics themselves). There are also people to blame and you know how I love to justify my writing by blaming others for the plot bunnies! Names beginning with P, K and...PJ...are currently on the 'bad influence' list. Funny, how they've been the culprits for several years (*cough*10*cough*) now. I need to find new people, clearly. At least there is no sign of another 50k story in the works. I can't deal with that this year.

It's winter again and so, naturally, Spain feels like a long way away. It's less than three months now (I need to do my Spanish lesson today...) and I think I'm slowly getting ready. The legs don't hurt quite as much after a round at the gym, so that's a good sign! Also, I've been walking a great deal around Leicester these days, and will continue too and next week I'll be standing a great deal. All of this should be good exericse. Of course, nice weather would be better exercise...

I am contemplating house moving. I don't want to, really, because that's a huge hassle and will involve renting a van to get everything moved. Also, anywhere I go is going to be much more money than I currently pay and that's a hassle. And, lastly, I can't find anywhere with an 18 month contract, so I'd have to move *again* next year. Choices, choices. I think I'm too tired to deal with it, really. So many other things going on and trying to decide if I'd rather be warm next winter or broke is about more than I can handle right now. Adult problems, world, adult problems. Also, possibly, First World problems, but there you go.

Right: book, lunch, [Spooks], gym. The order is still up for grabs.

Spain and hiking and charities, oh my

It's been a while, hasn't it?

And this post doesn't have to do with my PhD. Not really, anyways. It does in the sense that, having been at this for 16 months so far I need a break soon. Not a working holiday or a putting up with my family holiday. An actual, completely disconnected from everything, holiday.

I've been planning this one for a while. At the beginning of May and very old friend and I are going hiking. In Spain. Specifically, we are hiking the 800km Camino Frances, the French pilgrims' route across northern Spain to Santiago de Compostela. In 33 days (well, 5 weeks total, but we plan to stay a few days in Santiago at the end). It's been a goal we've both had for years and this is the year we're going to do it. She is finishing her PhD, I'm in the middle of mine. I turn 30 (yikes!) this year, though she doesn't until next year. Still, she starts her 30th year this year, which is almost the same thing.

But I want it to be about more than just us and a personal challenge and a long-held dream. She is doing it to research for an archaeological book about the Camino (with help from me!) and I am doing it to raise money for Cancer Research UK, a charity that has become very dear to me in recent months. I haven't done a fundraising walk in nearly two decades, and this seems like a great one!
Sometimes, being here is not all about doing a PhD (or gaining work experience, or making contacts with like-minded people, or doing something meaningful for your chosen subject). Sometimes it's about the other things you do to enrich your experience. And this is one of those, both for myself, my friend and for the many people that will hopefully benefit from us doing this.

Besides, after walking 30km a day for 33 days, finishing a PhD is going to be easy, right?

So that's one of the things that's been filling up my time. Also, planning a teaching session this week (help me!!!!), writing a report, being in Canada, sending email after email after email and all around freezing to death in the middle of the worst winter England has had (that I've lived here). They'll be more updates starting next month when I have things to update about!